


And You Lie

by limanade



Category: School Rapper (Korea TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Byungjae is bad at feelings, Fluff and Angst, Gas Station AU, M/M, MacDonald's as a plot device, kinda fake dating au?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24871531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limanade/pseuds/limanade
Summary: !!Rewrite of 'Rhymes Like Dimes'!!Lee Byungjae, a cashier at a mundane gas station, also does occasional side jobs for a friend.Kim Haon, a rookie FBI agent investigating an interesting case on a national level.They meet under unique situations, from August to July.
Relationships: Kim Haon/Lee Byungjae | VINXEN
Comments: 10
Kudos: 33





	And You Lie

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'And July' by Heize and Dean. I saw a comment that said 'And July' meant 'And You Lie' and that blew my tiny mind! 
> 
> This started probably 3 years ago, and I finally have a finished story that I worked on for a couple of months, and I'm really happy with, so I hope you enjoy! :)

_August_

It's another night shift at the gas station like most days for Byungjae. He's currently ringing up a customer, bored out of his mind. Scanning two bottles of Coca-Cola, and in a monotone voice, the cashier says. "That'll be $4.25." 

As Byungjae shifted his focus, he saw the glint of a gun in the customers hands. Now this situation was quite common in the gas station, and the gloomy boy quietly speed dials 911, and then warns, "Sir, I need you put down-"

"P-PUT YOUR HANDS UP! OPEN UP THE CASH REGISTER AND GIVE ME ALL THE MONEY!" The customer holds up a small piston and a flimsy bag, and Byungjae sighs. Another petty robber with no skills or class. 

The cashier was going to knock the gun out of the customers hand and trap him (from experiences like these), but before he could do that, someone already beat him to it. 

Unknown to both Byungjae and the robber, there was another guy in the aisles. The guy skillfully swiped the gun from the robber by twisting his arm, and then turning him around to trap him between the counter and his own legs. The robber was now lowly facing Byungjae, bent over the counter, and the new guy holding the robber in place from the back. The gun was on the floor, locked.

"I had it under control." Are the only words Byungjae says, only half serious. He definitely does not need a hero for that part of his life, he had just called the police so they can take the criminal away. The guy with puffed out hair, his 'hero', is smiling dumbly and innocently says, "I know! I saw you call 911, so here I am!"

Byungjae did another once over, now taking in every detail. The guy looked like your typical college student. He wore a colorful hoodie that seemed to be swallowing him, his short stature making it seem even more so, and he looked cute despite being questioned.

"You're a cop?" The cashier asks, clearly not believing the young guy, who then whipped out a fancy looking badge. It was shiny and new and official. 

"I mean technically no, but I work with the police force! I'm a rookie agent at the FBI. The title is actually special agent, but it always sounds so cliché to me." Byungjae inwardly agrees. 

"Well thanks Haon, but I could've handled it. I guess I didn't need to call the police." Byungjae mutters, and he doesn't even know what the FBI investigates, or that if it's making any meaningful change in society. The robber was still there, listening to their entire conversation held by Haons iron grip. "Ugh, we get it! You caught me, now can you let me at least switch into a more comfortable position? This isn’t exactly ideal…"

"Oh, sorry sir." Haon says, sincerely apologetic to the now criminal. The agent and the robber look as if they're in the beginning of a bad porno. Watching attentively, Byungjae kicks the gun further away. "Don't worry about, I've got the gun."

"That's good, and do you have any handcuffs? Or rope?" Haon asks still holding the robbers hands behind his back. Kinky, Byungjae thinks absent mindedly. "I'll check in the back."

With the robber now tied to a chair, Byungjae's forced to small talk with Haon till the cops arrive. Luckily, Haon asks all the questions and tells him more than he ever inquires, or wants to know. "You didn't tell me your name yet, what is it?"

"Byungjae."

"So Byungjae, do you work here often? I'm sure you're used to all the petty crimes in the city since you have the police on speed dial." Haon is beaming, totally invested in this conversation that Byungjae has literally said no open word in. 

"I work the night shift 5 days a week."

"Oh that's nice. Are you a student?" As Byungjae watches Haon animatedly talk, he can only think of how annoyingly peppy he is. It's making the gloomy boy want to hide. How he wishes for his long hair again, the eye contact is draining.

"Yep." Byungjae answers, popping the p.

Haon pays no mind to Byungjae's short answers, and continues talking brightly. "What's your major?" 

"Music."

"That's so cool! If this whole justice thing didn't work out, my second choice was music." Byungjae thinks it's absurd that music is a backup plan. A career in music should legally require a backup plan. He wishes he had a backup plan, but so far he hasn’t dropped out so that's good on him. 

Haon, not missing a beat, continues, "How old are you? I'm 24."

"Same."

"Wow, we could've been attending the same classes!"

Byungjae can only nod, mouth now too parched and wanting to crawl into himself. An awkward silence fills the room, with the burglar tied to the chair. With no extra noise, Byungjae noticed that Haon is a good couple inches shorter than him, and is certainly much too cheerful. It's like he can't stop smiling. Why hasn't he got the memo that Byungjae really doesn't want to talk to him?

"Oh, I forgot about my groceries! Do you think I could still pay for them?" Haon exclaims, rushing to get his leftover basket of unpaid items by the aisle of magazines. 

"I don't see why not," Byungjae replies in monotone, as they both meet at the cash register. A jug of chocolate milk, a box of cereal, five frozen pizzas (there was a sale), and two packs of strawberry gum. 

The scene feels way too casual for what just happened minutes ago, a plastic counter separating them as if they were strangers, but Byungjae doesn't have the energy to care, and Haon doesn't comment either. Through the constant beeping of items, Byungjae thinks that they're really still strangers because though they know each other's names, he'll just become another blank face in a sea of millions. 

"That'll be $28.38."

"Thanks, Byungjae." The cop says, and at the same moment police cars pull up with their lights glaring. The now criminal was taken in by the police and the last he sees of Haon is him giving a toothy grin and waving a goodbye. Byungjae awkwardly waved back, just a bit less enthusiastic.

The moon shines beautifully as the police leave, the havoc leaving with them. Another night at the gas station, Byungjae thinks to himself, and he continues to stare at nothingness till his eyes roll backwards.

-

The artificial lights are annoyingly bright as Byungjae is sitting behind the cash register. Legs up and eyes tired, only a couple people show up during the late night, so soon the boy starts dozing off. 

'Ding dong'

Barely stirring, Byungjae slowly wakes up, already used to the feeling of lack of sleep, and acting as if he wasn't napping on the job. Today's an interesting day.

A tall guy dressed like he just walked out of a teachers meeting was grinning as he walks straight towards the sleepy boy, leaning on the counter. "Hey Byungjae, how you've been?"

"It's been okay, Rohan." Byungjae says uninterested, clearly annoyed. The guy, Rohan, takes a package of strawberry gum and chews a piece, "So, I got another job for you."

Rohan, a friend of a friends at university, liked to partake in some illegal activities, to which Byungjae couldn't care less about. Albeit, the crime scene concerning the mafia had money to spare, and Byungjae being the broke university student he is, got roped into it pretty easily. Rohan doesn't tell him anymore than that it's organized crime (cough cough the mafia), and so Byungjae doesn't ask questions. He does some jobs, and he gets some cash.

Not everyone was blessed financially, and with his parents against his decision against music, he didn't have much. Either way, it's a win-win situation for both parties. It's not that he enjoys working for Rohan, he just couldn't afford to care about his morals. 

"Hmm, what is it?" Byungjae asks, rolling his eyes. "And stop taking store merchandise, we're running low in strawberry gum."

Rohan tosses him the rest of the gum package. "Here, it's all yours, it's even your favorite flavor." Byungjae took it and put it back on the shelf, and then asks again, "So what's the job?"

"The head guy thinks a scheme of ours is under investigation by the FBI. I think he's crazy, but that's beside the point. Anyways, we just to verify it." Rohan states, as he looks at the display of various chocolate bars. He takes a KitKat and starts munching on it.

"Your job is to befriend or date, whichever ones easier, one of the special agents. We already have a target from the higherups, and you'll basically be a small mole. Simple stuff, and if they're not investigating us, then you can just break it off."

Lee Byungjae, roped into the petty world of crime, was non-descript about it. Due to his clean slate and quiet nature (having really only two friends), no one recognizes him, and being numbingly average looking was a plus. Ties to the mafia were hard to detect at this age, and Byungjae already had a disrespect for society, so the little guilt he felt disappeared after a good nap. Usually he fake dated people, bribed officers, anything a low life would do.

Yawning, Byungjae says in a low voice. "Sounds good. Usual payment?"

"Yeah, he's our age, so that makes it a lot easier." Rohan informs, and he never mentions names on tape for court and evidence, but they both know Byungjae will erase it anyway. 

"Here," Rohan takes out a white pristine envelope from his suit jacket and gives it to the cashier. Gladly taking the letter, it was basically the same thing as accepting a cheque. 

"See you at class." Rohan says, and leaves with two more chocolate bars he swiped while he thought Byungjae wasn't looking. 

The door clicks closed, and Byungjae falls fast asleep, the letter burning in his hand. 

-

Cluttered with miscellaneous items, his dorm is a tripping hazard. 

Laying in his too small bed cot, Byungjae carefully takes out the letter and opens it. As always, there's one piece of white paper with a name, bio, contacts, and photos that Byungjae was later going to burn once he remembered everything. It's easy to date someone when you know everything about them, let alone a friend. A prepared façade is usually all it takes to get his number in the target's phone.

The title states, 'Special Agent Kim Haon of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (Vancouver) '.

Haon? Was it the same Haon who caught the robber? The same Haon that radiated so much optimism that it made Byungjae want to disappear? The pictures confirmed it. Haon was wearing his graduation robe and cap, holding up a certificate, looking proud. Looking like he could actually change the world with his career choice, though his hair was completely different. Short, straight, and absolutely ugly. 

Byungjae's now so thankful for his new updo, a little eye candy never hurt while on the job. 

Valedictorian of his class, Kim Haon was an 'outstanding student' from his higherups. Also 'resourceful and bright, his way of thinking is contagious'. Byungjae can only roll his eyes at the cheesy remarks.

Knowing Haon before (because of the incident) was actually quite unlucky for Byungjae. It was the perfect conversation starter, but now he knew Byungjae's actual personality, and the plan of creating a façade fell through. Oddly enough, Haon didn't seem turned off by Byungjae's cold exterior, so maybe there was hope.  
It sure was strange, but Byungjae has met weirder people, and people like him (nice) are kinda easy, not to be too demeaning. 

His 7x4 room seems to be more open than usual. It doesn't feel as constricting, especially since he just woke up from the night shift like most days, but it must be a good sign for him to set a plan into action. Set, trap, and go! Soon, he'll have Kim Haon wrapped around his finger with no notice of being played with.

For now, another nap is in need, Byungjae thinks as he yawns and settles back into bed. His brain feels fuzzy, and the thought of a plan is completely thrown off as his ratty blankets cover him. 

-

_September_

"Ah, Strawberry gum." 

Byungjae exclaims, as he scans the customers items. The customer, what looks to be a high school student, says, "Yeah, it's pretty good, especially this brand."

The cashier can only nod in response, an idea lighting up in his head, and a grin appearing on his face without his consent. The student walked off with the newly acquired strawberry gum, humming a random tune. Byungjae on the other hand is formatting a blueprint in his mind.

To physically print or write plans to seduce someone is just too cringy, it should be as natural as possible. Although it's kind of a lame plan, enticing someone with strawberry gum, Byungjae could care less. It's his favorite too, and Snickers, or any chocolate bars for that matter. Living from paycheck to paycheck isn't exactly luxurious, and for him the gas station is the new Whole Foods. 

All he has to do is meet Haon face to face to set the plan in motion. Psychologists say people will trust you more, subconsciously or not, if they like the way you smell. That night, Byungjae sneaks a whole stack of strawberry gum into his worn out backpack, and with the sun just rising, for once he sleeps with a smile on his face. 

-

_-Bean Around The World-_

A café is pretty standard for first meetings, at least for Byungjae. This one in particular is quite upscale and costly, due to the fact that its location is right in the middle of the busiest place in the city, not to mention a block away from the agency. With the sunlight shining down on his green tea latte, the window provides a perfect view point. 

Dressed in a button down with a white sweater on top (much too fancy for him), he patiently waits, doing some light reading. The hat he's wearing covers half his face, as to not draw attention, but this part of the city is too neat and orderly, so he's feeling a bit self-conscious. The dress shirt only helps by so little. Byungjae doesn't really belong here, but the drinks aren't bad. They better be with how much his wallet is bleeding.

An hours past, and he's been reading the same men's health magazine ten times over, but then again he's used to it. The first meeting always takes the longest, and he proceeds to switch magazines. 

Dozens of people walk by since it's already rush hour, some wearing uniforms, business clothes, and just whatever else. Their heedy footsteps blur his mind out as he waits. The strawberry gum feels light in his pocket, already chewing some.

The same barista at the cafe has been constantly asking him if he needs anything, and every time he says 'no', his spine pickles up that much more. He's surprised he hasn't been kicked out yet. Although Byungjae could easily be a smooth talker when required, running on 4 hours of sleep is rough. 

The waiter, a boy around his age with yellow puffy hair, is beginning to wear him down, and Byungjaes now looking at the desserts menu as the waiter smiles. 

Deciding on strawberry shortcake, his eyes flick up and the lapel pin on the boys white dress shirt reads 'Jinyoung'. Byungjae can only politely say, "I'll have one slice of the strawberry shortcake. Thanks." 

"No problem!" Jinyoung says happily, as if he won a prize for making another customer spend more money than necessary. In response, Byungjae can only give a menial tip. He feels cheated by society, but can't help himself. If he could, he wouldn't tip at all.

As the plentiful slice of cake was placed in front of him, the door rung and the gloomy boy naturally turned his head to glance at who it is, as he's been doing for the past 2 hours. Bingo, target acquired. 

There's Kim Haon in all his FBI glory, not even needing to order because the baristas already whipping something up as soon as they made eye contact and walked in. The rookie agent was here with some of his rowdy coworkers, not yet noticing Byungjae innocently tucked away in the corner of the building.

The police group settles in a table, casual bantering ensues, and they chat for about 15 minutes with their drinks. Haon chose a sweet fruity drink, much different to his caffeine addicted coworkers. Seems to fit his never ending happiness, and Byungjae can't really feel bad for this job as his coworkers stand up to leave.

He's still talking to one officer, a higher up, Byungjae would assume. Probably talking about the meeting Rohan had, about when to attack and uncover this whole business. It's nice to know you're undercover beforehand. Grinning, Byungjae makes his way to the cop, adding confident and cocky over his gloomy outlook.

As Haon turned to leave along with his buddies, Byungjae just seemed to 'accidentally' walk past him in that instance, spilling the fruity drink on his cheap, but white sweater. 

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I'll go get you some napkins!" And with that, Haon was gone to the waiters, getting much too many napkins then needed. Byungjae pretended to be annoyed, but all he could think was that it wasn't even Haons fault for the accident, but this kind of tactic worked great for nice people.

Byungjae then took off his soiled sweater, leaving him with a slightly ruined button down and the self realization that he now has to pay a dollar extra to clean it. He should've thought of a better first meeting. 

Luckily, Haon looks just as genuine as the first time, though more apologetic. The agent seems frantic to ease the crease on Byungjaes forehead, and proceeds to soak up the extra liquids. "I'm so sorry! I didn't even see you there. I'll clean your sweater or buy you a drink or something, whatever you want." 

"Hey, aren't you the guy at the gas station? The special agent?" Byungjae feigns confusion.

"Byungjae?! Wow, I can't believe I would see you again, it really is a small world." Haon immediately brightens up, "Anymore bad guys show up?"

A faint smile appears on Byungjaes face, he's acting normal, "Uh, not since that night, but how are you doing?"

For the first time, he's asking all the questions. Very unlike him, but Haon doesn't seem to mind.

"I'm doing great! I just got off work at the station right around the corner." The agent says, and Byungjae again has to act surprised. "I really am sorry about your sweater, white stains so easily," Haon mutters. This is the first time Byungjae has seen something other than neutral color his face.

Slyly, Byungjae takes a step closer and admires how dedicated the boy is cleaning his sweater. "Are you busy tonight?" He questions, as if asking him out on a date in broad daylight. The options were friend or boyfriend, and it's all depending on Haon's reactions.

"Um, uh nope! Nothing, nothing to do tonight." Haon replies, glancing at his shoes while still cleaning the sweater. 

Ignoring eye contact, Byungjae can tell. He's seen that face on countless other dirty targets, but none look as flustered as Haon. He definitely thought he was being asked out, and he didn't outrightly refuse, so Byungjae casually changes his tone. 

"Well if that's the case, then why don't you buy me dinner?" Byungjae says sweetly, a complete 180 from the first meeting at the gas station, but it seems like Haon doesn't mind as he feebly answers a beat late, "Uh, sure." 

"What do you recommend? Since you're paying and all," Byungjae says casually. He knows he's being forward, but that's what normal people do, right? 

"There's a good ramen place a block away," Haon answers, still not making direct eye contact. "That okay with you?"

Byungjae nods in response, and they leave the café in tow. His strawberry cake forgotten altogether. They reach the place, and sit at a couples table. The scene is a cozy atmosphere, and once they order drinks the silence sets in. Before Byungjae can even start, Haon word vomits.

"Is this a date?"

Bingo. Byungjae plays it safe though, and slyly answers back, "If you want it to be."

Haon can only nod dumbly and mumble something under his breath. It's cute, and at least this job is pleasant. What Byungjae needs is a connection. He needs to make Haon feel like he's being heard, and that starts with attention. He knows almost all the basic facts about him, so know he just has to act interested. 

Kim Haon is still shy in front of Byungjae, their knees lightly knocking against each other underneath the table. Without a pause, Byungjae asks, "So Haon, what's it like being a special agent? Is it like in the movies and tv shows?"

"Um, definitely not. Although I'm a field agent, meaning I get to do super cool movie stuff, so far it just consists of gaining intel and lots of paper work. Everyone is older than me since I started a couple of weeks ago, so I get the worst tasks, but I'm happy just being a part of the FBI. The interviews and prerequisites took so long, but I was really lucky to have this job so young. Most agents start out in their 30s." The boy rambles on and on, almost like a child, and Byungjae can't help but do another once over. 

Upon closer inspection, Haon might not be the sweetest eye candy, but boy oh boy there's something there. His straight creased button up, and adorable bunny teeth have Byungjae appreciative in his seat. At least this will be fun.

"Oh, I'm rambling, aren't I? Sorry." Haon scratches his neck, and Byungjae just shakes his head, it's fine he was zoning out anyways. "So, is working at the gas station fun?"

"Absolutely not, have you seen the gas station?" Is what Byungjae wants to say, but he's a on a payroll, so instead he says, "It's not bad. I mean, you're just scanning items and restocking when it isn't busy, so it's pretty easy."

Haon looks expectant, so Byungjae continues, "It's worth it for what I'm getting paid." Then he smirks, "Not all of us can have a FBI salary."

At this, Haon laughs. "Trust me, it's not that high, especially since I'm brand new. Sure I can get by, but I'm still paying back my student loans."

Byungjae just nods attentively. Good thing Haon is a chatter box, because he always found making small talk difficult. He just has to be himself, and yet somehow make Haon fall in love with him. A seemingly impossible task, really, but Haon doesn't seem to mind his small input of jokes and comments. He was even blushing at the prospect of a date, so maybe Byungjae should give himself more credit.

"Have there been any more robbers? The area near the gas station has pretty high rates of crime in the city." Haon comments, frowning, and then he brightens up. "You can always call me if they police take too long! I only live a couple blocks away."

"That's not necessary, since all my shifts are pretty late. I don't wanna bother you." Haon looks like he wants to argue, but Byungjae just grins, turning up his flirting game.

"Besides, I don't even have your phone number, how would I call you?"

Adorable, is the only word to describe boy sitting in front of him. His mouth is a hanging a bit open, and then he's scratching the back of his neck, closing in on himself. Still so nervous, it's fun to watch Haon struggle. "Uh-Yeah, you're right...I mean, I could um, do you want my number?" 

The shorter boy looks so unsure, and Byungjae just holds out his phone to take him out of his misery. Haon shyly takes it, careful not to make an inappropriate amount of contact, and Byungjae jokes, "I'll call you next time there's ever 'trouble'." 

"Uh, yeah, sounds good." At this moment their food arrives and Haon graciously accepts the distraction. The boy still squirming in his seat. Either Byungjae has gotten more handsome or no one has ever asked Haon out before. Both option seems unlikely, but the latter one has Byungjae frowning.

Soon, both bowls of ramen are gone and a comfortable silence has settled. It's nice, with the warm lights casting a glow on Haon, and their knees still slightly touching, until Byungjae decides to deliberately knock his knee with Haons, and let it stay there. Haon isn't looking at him and his leg is tense, but after a couple of seconds he relaxes, and gives Byungjae a bashful smile. Like he did something very right.

They leave the restaurant, and Byungjae is adamant on walking Haon home. Honestly he has never walked anyone home, it's a waste of his energy, but it's a very date thing to do, so he complies. Much to Haon's disagreement though, muttering that he can take care of himself, yet he's already leading the way.

They take the bus, winding down streets until they're at the entrance of Haon's humble apartment. It's not shabby by Byungjae's standards, but it's definitely seen better days with the paint peeling and various other residents rumbling about. 

The MacDonald's half a block away is a neon light in the area. It's newest advertisement is the Monopoly game, coining the phrase 'anyone could be a million dollar winner'. Enticing, but Byungjae knows his chances are lower than if he died on the spot.

They're both just kind of standing about, waiting for something, and by first date standards Byungjae knows what he has to do. Slowly, he takes one of Haon's hands. Physical contact is a must for what comes next.

Once again, Byungjae initiates the conversation, "I liked hanging out with you, Haon." 

Haon is looking at his button up, flushed and unable to say anything back. This time Byungjae is asking all the questions, prodding however he wants.

"Do I get a second date?" Byungjae asks, tightening his hold on Haon's hand. His other hand goes up and cradles Haon's cherry red face, who nods and looks up. At this, Byungjae grins, and innocence colors Haon's face, like he doesn't know what's gonna happen next. His eyes have a glaze to them, like rose colored lenses.

"Can I kiss you?" Whispers Byungjae, staring.

Haon nods again, a little more enthusiastically, and leans into it. 

Byungjae meets him halfway, kissing his trembling lips. Pausing after, Haon pulls him forward by the shirt to continue. His lips are flushed, and he's so eager Byungjae's surprised he pulled it off so well. The strawberry gum definitely helped, if the indication

After a minute, Haon breaks it apart, the glaze in his eyes gone. His ears turn red this time, "Uh, I-I didn't mean to get so…into it." He whispers the last part.

Chuckling, Byungjae just smiles, "That's okay, I guess I didn't expect that either." The words hit to close to the truth.

Haon seems a bit more relieved, "You, um, kinda taste like strawberries…" He confesses, playing with their intertwined hands. "I mean smell! You kinda smell like strawberries!"

Hook, line, and sinker. Byungjae just laughs, a genuine smile on his face. "You should probably go, I'm sure you'll need lots of energy to investigate the bad guys."

"Yeah, we're actually investigating a really interesting case abou- uh! Anyways, I had a really good time. Thanks for all," vaguely motioning at them, "this."

Haon is gonna regret he said that, but Byungjae just lies behind his teeth, "It was by pure luck that we met, even if my sweater got ruined." He fakes a frown.

Giggling, Haon pecks him on the lips, "It was worth it, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," the money lining his pocket is worth it.

"Bye Byungjae," Haon beams, as he quickly runs into the apartment complex. He's glowing, like a star blurring the dirty neighborhood. Waving back, Byungjae just waits until he's in safe and sound. The bus ride back doesn't seem as cold.

-

_October_

The leaves are a myriad of warm colors through the huge antique glass windows.

Sipping on cheap MacDonald's iced coffee, Byungjaes sitting in the library doing whatever a music major does. He's supposed to write an essay about Buddy Rich and jazz, but Byungjae is just watching old clips of Buddy Rich playing with the Muppets. Next to him, Rohan is sleeping. Probably a busy night, or a night gone wrong.

An hour passes while Byungjae manages to string together a couple of sentences that render coherent, when Rohan wakes up and nudges his shoulder. "What time is it?"

"4:22," Byungjae grunted, "Are you done the essay?"

Rohan just yawns, and teases him, "Of course not, why would I start so early? We still have a week, at least."

"Sure, but not everyone can write it up the night before." Byungjae mutters, finishing his coffee. "Some people have jobs."

"Just because my job doesn't have tax reductions doesn't mean it's any less real. Besides, I've perfected the skill of leaving it the night before, and finishing with minimal consequences," Rohan says matter of factly, and then gives him a look, "Did you talk to him?"

"Yeah, it actually went really well." 

Rohan has a twisted look to his face, sneering "Oh, what is it this time? Lovesick boyfriend or really close platonic friend?"

Byungjae just throws a pencil at Rohan, "What do you think?" 

"Hm, well the guy isn't too bad looking. I say lovesick boyfriend, and all you do is feed each other ice cream, and call each other 'sweetie pie'." Rohan sweetly says, his voice two octaves higher. 

"Wow, accurate as always, except we already adopted a cat and he calls me 'honeybun' and I call him 'buttercup'." Deadpans Byungjae, as Rohan fake gags. 

"Ugh, don't come at me with your fantasies about domestic bliss. I'm more about that kinky stuff." 

"Did not need to know that," bites Byungjae, rolling his eyes, and then a smile graces his face rather than his normal line and Rohan, the clever guy, catches it immediately. "So what, you like the guy? Or are you just thinking about my kinks?"

Byungjae decides to not take the bait, and bites back calmly. "I like him as much as the next guy. He's kinda cute though, so that's a plus."

"Okay, but like how cute? Baby cute or like I wanna see you on your knees cute?

"Like I wanna adopt you kinda cute," the words leave his mouth before he realizes what he's said, and he inwardly cringes. He tries to salvage what pride he has left, "Like a puppy cute! He's like an overexcited puppy."

Rohan just gives him a look that says 'keep telling yourself that', and adds in, "I'm kinda jealous. You get paid for this crap while I'm running around the city."

Byungjae scoffs, "No one told you had to do that, and I better get paid, dates are damn expensive. Serenading someone takes a lot of work." 

"Serenading!" Rohan's face has all the amusement of an amusement park, "I think that's the first time I've heard you use that word. You're gonna sweep the boy off his feet." 

"And then drop him when I break his heart," Byungjae says matter of factly. Rohan only laughs in response. "Yeah, well, all's fair in love and war,"

Byungjae just looked at him skeptically, "Do you even know where that's from?"

"Does it matter?" questions Rohan, and then under his breath, "it just sounded like a good line."

"Sure it is." 

-

Halloween is on the horizon, so Byungjae supposes this is the time to face the unknown. Also known as, 'let's upgrade to boyfriends.'

Classes are running as smoothly as possible, and all the while Byungjae and Haon have gone on two other dates. All casual and at public places, but it's been entertaining and Haon doesn't seem to be losing interest. A miracle, really.

They're on another date, just walking around Stanley Park, an urban public park surrounded by the sea. It's not too chilly, and the foliage looks full despite it being autumn. The plan is to be 'lovesick boyfriends', and as always, Byungjae initiates. 

"Haon, do you wanna be my boyfriend?"

Haon looks like somebody told him he's living in the matrix. "Yes! I mean, uh," he's looking at the fallen leaves, and his ears are red, but he calms his racing heart, "I mean, yeah, I'd like that."

"Good, because I don't kiss everyone on the first date. Only boyfriend material." A lie, but it's cute enough. Haon just scrunches his nose, and jokingly punches Byungjae.

"Don't say stuff like that! It's so cringy" Haon whines, and he looks adorable when he's trying to be mad.

"Why not? I know you love it. You get so flustered, it's so cute." Haon just stubbornly shakes his head and continues walking, "I'm not cute," he mutters, while looking absolutely cute. 

Byungjae just smiles, "Well now that we got that out of the way," he proceeds to hold Haon's freezing hand, "Come on, let's get something to drink." 

They walk to a nearby MacDonald's by waterfront, and Haon gets hot chocolate while Byungjae settles for iced coffee. It's not exactly romantic, but there's no need because Haon is the one who picks it. Byungjae doesn't complain, and his wallet doesn't either. 

As soon as Haon gets his hands on the hot chocolate, he pulls the small tab and gets a monopoly game piece as per the MacDonald's Monopoly advertisement everywhere on T.V. and billboards. Judging by his kicked puppy demeaner, Byungjae can only assume he didn't win.

Haon just shows Byungjae his game piece, 'St. James Place' it says, and it's an orange tile. "Ugh, another St. James. I already have dozens of these."

"Here, you can have mine," Byungjae suggested, and Haon brightens up only slightly, mumbling. "Thanks."

Haon pulls it open and a sour look overcomes his features. The game piece is 'St. James Place' again, staring at Haon mockingly. Byungjae consoles him as best as possible, "You know, it's probably rigged. It's not like we have a feasible chance of winning anything."

Eyebrows raised, Haon just looks at him funnily. "Yeah, it probably is, but I still want to win," he complains, and then drinks the sweet hot chocolate. Byungjae just shrugs his shoulders. 

"You know you could win a car! A gift card! Or even a million bucks!" Exclaims Haon, when Byungjae just looks neutral, and when he isn't as excited, Haon continues prodding, "Don't you think it's wrong if the game is rigged? Shouldn't everyone have a legitimate chance to win? It's false marketing! It's fraud if it's rigged!"

Byungjae can only nod in response while Haon plops down into his chair, exasperated. Byungjae consoles him again, "I mean, yeah it sucks, but how does anyone actually know it's rigged?"

"The odds are already ridiculous, but," Haon looks around them cautiously, then whispers, "We're looking into a case around the Monopoly game."

Oh, so this whole organized crime thing that Byungjae is wrapped into is because of the MacDonald's Monopoly game. The FBI is investigating fraud. Suddenly, the restaurant seems to stare down at him mockingly, like he's a part of an invisible crime scene. He didn't even know the mafia would take part in a Happy Meal. It's like seeing the Dora in World War 2. 

Playing with the strings on his hoodie, Haon awaits for Byungjae to close his mouth. "Did you hear me? I said-"

"Yeah, I did," cough cough," That's pretty interesting." Byungjae says as he drinks more coffee to digest this newfound information. It is interesting, and Rohan was supposed to tell him what the FBI we're investigating in a couple of days, but this was his last guess. 

"Yeah! I always thought the odds of winning we're extremely low anyways, but when I investigated the tip it blew my mind!" Haon's hands are frantically waving around in the air, and then he whisper shouts, "Did you know that three relatives all won the $1 million grand prize? Do you know what the chances of winning a million dollars is?" 

'Nope," Byungjae says, trying to remember everything Haon is telling him. Now is not the time for screw ups.

"One in 16 million, and then times that by three and you have the current situation. It's crazy, isn't it? Someone's giving away the game pieces!" Haon's still keeping his voice low, but the urgency in his inflection has Byungjae on the edge of his seat. 

"We decided to name it 'Operation Final Answer' after Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, and we're working with MacDonald's to figure it out! It's like I'm part of a spy movie!"

Byungjae, stunned, just nods attentively. And that's that. 

-

_November_

"So," Byungjae starts, "It's about the MacDonald's Monopoly game?"

Rohan just smiles good-naturedly. "Eh, to be honest I have no idea how it works, but yeah, that's basically it. White collar fraud."

The two are at the gas station again, and if you look out the window you'll see a fluorescent MacDonald's down the road. Byungjae thinks it's terribly ironic. Really, anywhere he goes now, he can spot a MacDonald's in a 2 mile radius. It's mocking him now, too. 

"Wow, that sure is…something," Byungjae replies, monotone. He goes through everything Haon told him, and at the end Rohan pulls out his reward. 

He's never asked about the organization, but his interest is piqued. "So who's in charge of the MacDonald's crime?"

Rohan sighs, "Look, it's one guy we call J. I'm not close with him but there's a whole network of people." Then he smirks, "You'll know more than me when you're with Haon."

Byungjae just grins, "For sure, Rohan. Anything else to report?"

"Nope, see you soon," and Rohan is already out of the door. Byungjae thinks he can see him drive his car to the MacDonald's down the street if he squints, but he's always had bad vision. 

The envelope of cash is always dirty money, and he doesn't mind it. That's what you get when you play with people's hearts. Yeah, he feels a bit guilty, but if he focuses on the good, like paying rent, the feeling goes away. Besides, it's fun to play with Haon, he actually doesn't feel like dying when he's with him.

If he goes to bed with a smile on his face, no one is none the wiser. 

-

Byungjae thinks this must be his favorite job. 

They're in Haon's shack of an apartment, but he doesn't really care when lips are on lips. They were watching some documentary on an illegal streaming website (Byungjae teased Haon, "How could an FBI employee do this?") on Haon's laptop, but it might as well be off. With all the lights off, already in Haon's bed together, it seems too good.

Kissing Haon is like leaving his crappy life and spending a few minutes in heaven. It burns, and when Haon flushes like it's a hot summer day, Byungjae can't help but get lost in the feeling. It's far too intimate, they're barely using tongue. Haon is responding feverishly, his hands coming up grip Byungjae's ratty sweater and pulling for more. Byungjae, in his haze, reminds himself that sex is a good way to connect with a stranger. He should've done this sooner. 

They pull away to catch their breaths, and Byungjae is anything if not a gentlemen, "Do you want this?"

Haon looks so vulnerable, like he awoke from a nightmare. Stripped away of his layers of work, his eyes are looking at the sweater he's holding as his ears now turn red. Byungjae can see him trying to think, and so he puts some more space between them. He looks like he just got reprimanded for stealing candy from a gas station. His voice comes out small and nervous.

"Um, I just, you know, uh, ne-never had…" And Haon looks like he wants to crawl into a hole and die.

There goes Byungjae's heart. A foul feeling is slowly replacing the burning passion. Taking Haon's virginity is far too intimate for someone like him, but he is the boyfriend, isn't he? In all his prospects, he's never had to take anyone's virginity, and suddenly the money seems a lot more filthy.

"Haon, it's fine. Stop worrying, it's okay," reassured Byungjae, trying his best to sweeten his voice. Haon only meekly makes eye contact.

"Haon, listen to me. If you're not comfortable right now, than that's fine. There's no pressure, it's all up to you. I promise I won't be disappointed. " There's no acting now, not like Byungjae was acting when he was around Haon. It's different, though. 

Haon grips his sweater a little tighter, and a couple seconds later he confesses.

"I want _you._ "

And Byungjae knows there's a special place in Hell for him. 

Pulling him into a kiss, Haon melts against the worn-out sheets. Slowly taking off his sweater, then Haon's jumper and shirt, Byungjae is praying to every deity that he doesn't screw this up. His kisses are real, filled with earnest, as he whispers into Haon's ear, "I'll take care of you."

He has to play a lover now, and it kills him that he doesn’t need to pretend how much he loves this. 

-

The guilt is overwhelming. 

He should be numb from this feeling already, but it just piles on top of each other. Grimacing, the sunlight is shining onto the messy bed right into his eyes. Between the old sheets, Byungjae is sleeping with a content Haon, and the clock reads 9 am. Through the window, he can see fresh snow falling, piling on the rooftops and making the city white.

There's no reason to feel this horrible, because the world takes and takes and this is just another example in his life. It's eating him up, his chest aching just to breathe. He feels like a hypocrite because he can feel himself bordering on love.

Laughing to himself, a sick smile replaces his grimace. Here he is, actually having feelings for a temporary target. He's going to have to break up with Haon once this is all over, since telling him the truth is way out of the loop. Haon wouldn't want him anyway if he knew. Either way, he loses the guy.

It's okay though. The sooner it's over, the sooner the pain in his chest can melt away. 

A phone rings on the tiny nightstand, and Byungjae feigns sleep as Haon is gently woken up. He turns slightly pink at the position he finds himself in, bites back a smile, and struggles to end the noise.

"Um, hello?" Murmured Haon, his voice a bit dry as he rubs his eyes with his other hand.

Byungjae can't hear what the other party says, but he notices Haon straighten up right away as the person keeps talking. 

"That's amazing! I can't wait to head back to work," Proclaimed Haon, energy thrumming through his entire body, and then a couple seconds later the phone call ends. Letting out a pleased sigh, Haon ditches his phone and cautiously turns to face the still sleeping Byungjae. 

Byungjae can only hear the sheets being shuffled around, and then a warm weight on his chest. His heart withers, and the pain in his chest only feels more pressure. 

-

_December_

The increasingly cold weather is as annoying as ever (his wet sneakers account for that), but at least it makes for a scenic view. 

As Byungjae looks out the gas station windows, the entire block is covered in a thin blanket of snow, with shimmering snowflakes decorating the sky. Right on time and seemingly appearing out of the night, two figures walk into the store, bundled up and cozy. 

"Why did you bring Jinyoung?," Byungjae asks when then he sees a shorter blonde figure trail behind Rohan. Then, he laughs, "Why do you have MacDonald's?"

In Jinyoung's hands there's a MacDonald's bag, oil stains already appearing at the bottom. It's comical, really, with what they're gonna discuss. "I can hear you, and late night cravings," is Jinyoung's response, as he stuffs some fries down. 

"I brought Jinyoung because the people at the top are nervous," Rohan rebuts, and the message is loud and clear: they don't wanna go to jail.

"Yeah, I did say this was important," Byungjae chuckles. Jinyoung is friends with Rohan, but he has a nasty reputation around the university. Byungjae couldn't care less, but Rohan tells him he's on a higher rung than him. The three of them are at the gas station, late night with no customers around. 

"So, what's it this time?" Rohan asks, good naturedly, but the fact that Jinyoung is with him is a bit off-putting. 

"They're planning a sting around January. Haon says they already know it's the 'mafia', and they found the main culprit. The only thing they don't really know is how he got the tickets," Reports Byungjae, and the two of them are quiet, thinking.

"Who's the main culprit?" Jinyoung questions.

"I don't know. Haon won't tell me, he says it's 'confidential information'."

Rohan and Jinyoung exchange a look, nod, and then look to Byungjae to continue. 

"They're looking into his residences and they're also arresting the past million dollar winners, including anyone who sold or gave the tickets away," Byungjae finishes, and he feels a bit dizzy. "Oh, and they've already contacted other agencies around the country, so yeah."

"That's it?" Rohan asks, while eating some fries. 

"Yep," Byungjae responds, trying to fake calmness since it's payday, but he feels sick to his stomach. The scene in front of him is so normal, but it's like he's taken off the rose colored lenses. 

"Alright, text me the date when you get it," Says Rohan, and he doesn't make it sound demanding but he knows if he doesn't do that, then there'll be questions. Jinyoung just smiles and takes out the coveted envelope, puts it on the cash register, and says, "It was nice to see you again," and then he adds, like an afterthought, "Hey Byungjae, have a nice Christmas."

"Thanks, you too. " Byungjae says, actually genuine, a small smile painting his face. It's only December 20th, but since university classes are finished, this might be the last time he sees Rohan before the new year. 

Rohan and Jinyoung just wave a hand and then they're strolling out the door, snow falling in time with them. 

The envelope looks so pristine, but all Byungjae can think of is the guilt that's drowning him. Holding the money feels wrong, immoral, like if he crushes the paper too hard he'll break Haon's heart. 

It disgusts him, as he pockets the money and wipes the store video cameras. Thinking about it too hard leads him in a downward spiral, so reasonably all Byungjae can do is take a nap to escape the dread.   
If he never acknowledges it, he has nothing to overthink. What a philosophy, maybe he should change majors. 

This is a job, and the crumpled bills weighing in his pocket make that clear. The only thing other thing he knows for certain, is that he wants to be with Haon. How to do that, is another complication he doesn't wanna think about.

-

It happens when Haon goes to the bathroom. 

Quickly, Byungjae snatches his phone off the couch and enters the password (it's his birthday) before looking for his calendar. Swiping to January, amidst all the color coded events, there's a yellow bolded reminder on Wednesday, the 13th. 

_!Operation Final Answer!_

Bingo. 

He turns the phone off, putting it back it where he found it, and continues eating the greasy noodles, while the true crime show on the laptop is paused in front of him. He'll text Rohan later, this was the last requirement of the job, anyways. 

They're at Haon's apartment again, eating takeout from the place down the street, when Haon mentions a new true crime show that's caught his eye. 'Of course, only you would wanna watch crime on your days off," Byungjae teases, has Haon protests that it could be useful to know. It's times like these that just shout 'domestic', and it squeezes his heart. Maybe he really is a sucker for domestic couple living. 

Haon, back from the bathroom, cuddles up next to Byungjae as he starts the show. The title sequence plays 'Making a Murderer', as a guy gets convicted of a crime he didn't commit, and has spent nearly two decades cooped up in prison. 

Halfway into the second episode, Haon whispers, "Imagine blaming an innocent person for murder. The sheriff lied to everyone just to get a guy he didn’t like in prison. That blows my mind."

Byungjae hums in response. Later in the episode, it mentions how wrongly convicted people get offered money as compensation, much to Haons disgust, as he scoffs. 

"No amount of money is worth the time he lost in prison. It's a terrible apology! A true flaw in the judicial system!" Haon erupts, and he'd be great in a courthouse. 

"Time is worth more than money," drawls Byungjae in a calmer tone, agreeing with Haon. He says that, but all Byungjae can think about is how he's wasting Haon's precious time. 

Truth be told, he's lying. Even if now he's not lying about himself, he lied about his intentions. Even if he kinda does love Haon, he still lied to him. He told the mafia confidential (?) FBI information, unbeknownst to Haon. He literally started dating him because of the mafia.

"Are you even watching the show?" Whines Haon, pouting. Adorable, Byungjae thinks, and he can't stop himself from planting a quick kiss on his boyfriends lips. It's true though, he wasn't watching the show, he was thinking about the disaster that is his life.

Scrunching his nose and looking away, Haon doesn't complain for the rest of the episode, apart from making his usual commentary. Watching Haon as he laughs, whines, and smiles, is like watching the titanic on course for the iceberg. He can see it all unfolding, there's no time to change course, regardless of anyone's actions. There's a tragedy in the near future. 

Having had comforted Haon when he cries at a dog movies, Byungjae knows that no matter what happens past January 13th, there's gonna be tear tracks. He's going to crush Haon's 'never been on a date with a guy' heart. 

Byungjae could, technically keep dating Haon after the sting fails, but he's in too deep. A relationship built on a foundation made of sand is bound to fail. How could he tell Haon about all the conspiring he's done against the FBI? How could Haon be a part of his life without knowing Rohan? About how he pays rent? 

In the end, he's just as bad as those criminals Haon is going to lock up. Breaking up is the most sensible route. At least this way, Haon will remember him as a charming university student, and not a selfish liar.  
It's not fun anymore, and all that's left to do is wait. 

Glancing at Haon, who is cuddled up next to his chest, looks angelic. As an early apology, Byungjae presses a feather-light kiss to the top of Haon head. The action doesn't help his numb chest. 

Episode 3 ends, and Haon turns to look at him fondly. Byungjae can see the gears in Haon's head shifting. "I wanna tell you something," the smaller mumbles, fidgeting with his hoodie sleeves. 

Byungjae's on high alert. After the self-loathing session, Haon could say he's the worst person to ever walk the Earth, and he wouldn’t argue. Timidly, Byungjae says, "What is it?"

Despite his fears, Haon still looks adorable, thinking hard and avoiding eye contact, like their first date. Haon trails off, "I just-I know we've said some things…"

Byungjae looks expectantly and waits. 

"Like, I've said, I really like you. And I do! But since the holidays are soon I've realized that," Haon looks stupidly sick, like he's about to puke. Better yet, word vomit. 

"Uh, I've realized that, I love you."

Byungjae lets out a smile more bittersweet than he'll admit. He hopes Haon doesn't notice the bitter part, as he pulls the boy into a kiss. It's soft, and loving, and it's certain that he's enamored. Haon tastes like his favorite strawberry gum, as the boy smiles as he kisses back, tension releasing immediately. Haon is so giddy, he's on cloud nine. 

"I love you too, Haon." Whispers Byungjae as they pull apart, like it's a secret. 

Haon is on cloud nine. 

Byungjae would rather die and make his peace in hell. For now though, he might as well be on cloud nine, too.

-

_January_

The holidays were busy, that's why he didn't text Rohan earlier. Not because he was stalling, of course not. 

Although breaking up is sensible, Byungjae is anything but sensible, so he pulls one last trick. He thinks a week is enough leeway for the FBI. They are the FBI, anyways. 

To Rohan: _it's January 20th_

From Rohan: _nice_

(After listing all the pros and cons, he thinks he can keep lying. Even if the mafia guys get caught, he can just say Haon told him the wrong date, or the FBI changed last minute. Byungjae has no idea if the FBI would do that, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that the higher ups probably don't know either, and he's in the safe zone. Screw it, it's not like he's sensible. Rohan shouldn’t expect that much.)

(Oh, and he doesn't want to crush Haon's heart twice. That might've been a considerable pro.)

-

Kissing Haon makes everything right. 

It makes lying to the mafia morally right, it makes him think, 'I wish this would last forever' and the plan of breaking up vanishes into thin air like a magic trick. When he's with Haon, his cynical thoughts don't take up his head space. Instead, he's just content. For a brief moment in time, he feels like there's good in the world, and that he's a part of that.

They're at the public library this time, hidden by the monotone shelves. Haon, who is honestly too pure for this cruel society, is searching for old meditation works. Focused on finding this one philosopher, Byungjae gently tilts his head and kisses him. It's soft and intimate and Byungjae can't help himself.

Flushing, Haon squeaks out, "What if people see?"

"Don't worry, there's no one here," Byungjae says, smiling bittersweet as Haon looks around. He's not a fan of PDA, but with time running out he can't seem to care. He's gonna miss this. It tugs at his heart strings every time he thinks about it.

Haon gives him a funny look, before giving Byungjae an easy peck and refocusing at the task at hand. As Haon keeps looking, Byungjae's skimming the books on the opposite shelf. There are titles like, 'The Book of Awesome', and some other self-help books. There's marriage counselling, dealing with parenthood, and confrontation. There's a nagging in his head, and he takes out one about confrontation. 

Since taking this job, Byungjae wants to quit so badly. That's not possible though, so after all of this is over, he decided to officially take a break from Rohan and his offerings. The only problem is he hasn't actually told Rohan this, and he really doesn't want to. 

Their relationship has been purely benefits. Byungjae gets cash he should've gotten from his parents to survive in Vancouver, and Rohan gets to largen in social circle while pleasing the higher ups. It’s a win-win, and they're what you could call friends. Byungjae doesn’t necessarily have a lot of those, so he would rather not lose any. He also doesn’t want a hit on his back.

It's not like he can google, 'How to tell my friend/co-worker that I want to stop working for him/the mafia?' It's not like he can even do it through text either. All business is strictly in person (except for that 'date'), but he decides to quit after the sting, whether it's successful or not. 

"Got it!" Haon exclaims, too loud for the library but luckily no one shushes them. "Ready to go?" 

"Yep," Byungjae says, shoving the book back. If it's in the wrong place, then that's just a problem for someone else. 

They walk out, hand in hand, heart in heart. "Say you'll never let me go, okay?" Haon teases, as he squeezes Byungjae's hand. 

"I would never," and there's another lie.

-

January 13th comes far too fast, to Byungjae's dismay. 

It’s the afternoon, but he knows the takedown is happening as he sees the clock's ticking hands on the library wall. He's with Rohan again, copying his assignment while Rohan does the same with his other assignment. 

Hanging out with Rohan is no longer a comfort when all he can think about is breaking Haon's heart. Well, he also chose to be an informant for the mafia, so that's on him, but if he thinks about it really hard, in a twisted way the heartbreak is warranted by the fact that he lied to the Rohan, and therefore lied to the mafia. 

He can only hope Rohan is a decent enough guy. Lot's of things go wrong in organized crime, right? He wouldn't know. 

In this moment of time, the FBI have most likely already arrested most of the previous winners and the main pinhead that Rohan and Jinyoung shared a look about. Refreshing the Huffington Post, Byungjae's expecting news articles to be jumping on the story and milking every detail out of the FBI. 

Yesterday, Haon told him he was gonna be busy today, with no particular reason why. Byungjae, mustering up his acting skills, tries his hardest not to sound too dismissive, and conjure up his best nonchalant response. Haon doesn't say anything that would raise suspicion, so now here he is, waiting for the news to break. Haon will probably text him, 'we did it!!' late into the night, once all the business is finished.

Byungjae feels a nudge on his shoulder, knocking him back to his surroundings, eyes widening. He takes off his headphones to face Rohan, who's asking a question about one of the melodies. "Shouldn't it be B flat? Everywhere else you added a flat." 

"Yeah, I guess I forgot. I'll change it now." Byungjae says, and Rohan doesn't bother him anymore as they work in silence. He's trying his best to act natural, but it doesn't seem to work as he can feel Rohan staring. His acting's been off ever since he met Haon. That's the only explanation.

A couple hours later, just when he thinks Rohan isn't on his case, he sees a trending article. 

'THE MACDONALDS MONOPOLY GAME IS A FRAUD!'  
'An FBI investigation leads to the arrest of 13 people'

Maybe his face gave it away, or maybe it was Rohan finding out that the pinhead was arrested by other sources, but they only talk about it when they get dinner at an empty sandwich shop. 

They're both seated at a table with their food as muted radio music plays throughout the establishment. It's hauntingly quiet when Byungjae breaks the tension. His voice wavers as he mumbles, "They must've changed the date."

Rohan just laughs at his attempt of explaining. His eyes look all-knowing and Byungjae can feel himself entering the twilight zone. "The higherups already knew the date wasn't accurate. The FBI are always switching things up, and other departments had to coordinate too, so I'm not surprised."

Byungjae shows visible confusion. "Then why did you ask me to send you the date?"

"That, was my own doing," Rohan confesses quietly and slowly, and Byungjae realizes what a fool he is. 

Never has Rohan once interfered in a job like that. The cogs are slowly turning. "The higherups just wanted to know how far along the whole thing was. All I told them was that it was most likely going to happen in January, and that's all they needed to know."

Byungjae can feel himself fill with relief, so much so he could cry. His chest is suddenly a little lighter. He was ready to be blacklisted by the mafia, ready to never talk to Rohan again, although that one might still be true. Only Rohan knows he lied about the date, regardless of whatever explanation he got. He gave himself away the second he spoke. What Byungjae doesn't understand is why Rohan would do that, though. 

Rohan still looks a bit apprehensive after he reveals the current situation, but he doesn't look upset in any matter. He doesn't look like someone who just lost a 24-million dollar scheme. "Didn’t they get arrested? Aren't you worried about that?" Byungjae asks, once he wraps his head around the whole situation. 

"Honestly, no. I don't even know how the whole scheme works, only the pinhead does, and it's better that way. It's just an income source for distribution, so there'll be many more to come." Rohan says as he smiles mischievously at the last sentence. 

"Besides," he continues, "I'm pretty sure the FBI were tracking their location way before January, and they should've been better prepared if they didn't want jail time. Actually, white-collar crime gets notoriously low prison time, so they'll be back soon. Nothing you need to understand."

Byungjae's head is spinning at what he's hearing. The only thing he doesn't really understand is why Rohan is still sitting here with him, a liar. "Uh, okay. I have one more question though."

Rohan nods after a second. "Ask away."

"Why did-" and then he bites his lip and thinks about it a little deeper, and instead mutters, "Never mind. So we're good?"

Rohan smirks, "Why wouldn't we be good?" he questions in a teasing tone, but his eyes are all-knowing again, and then he lets out a genuine laugh. His whole façade vanishes before Byungjae, and warmly he says,  
"Byungjae, I really got you worried there, didn’t I?

Rolling his eyes, Byungjae defiantly spits out, "I don't know what you're talking about," and at Rohan's look of 'really?' he caves, "Fine. Yes, you got me. Happy now?"

"Yes, and we're good, so stop worrying. You're secret's safe with me." Rohan reveals, with genuine kindness, and Byungjae bites his tongue before he replies with a snarky comment. If Rohan suspects he lied about the date, he doesn't hear back from him about the subject. 

This couldn't have turned out better. He's lucky Rohan is a decent enough guy. 

-

Later that night, he gets a text. It's vague but Byungjae knows immediately what he means. He feigns confusion.

_we did it!! :D_

Oh, he forgot about the emoticon. Two exclamation marks must've not been enough to show all his happiness. Bittersweet seems to be the only constant this month.

-

_February_

If he's been distant, Haon doesn't comment or mention it. 

Byungjae wants to be present. He wants to love and be loved, but it's just a downward spiral of, 'this might be the last time,' and 'how can I forget this?' Even Rohan can tell he's a little low, when he notices all his music being slow and sad. 

Haon and Byungjae are like drifting boats. It's like they're being suspended, only held together by a couple of loose threads. It's easier this way, if Haon were the one to initiate a break up, he wouldn't have to do any heart breaking but it's gone on too long. As Haon smiles sweetly at him for no obvious reason he knows of, he knows it's time.

They're watching a trashy rom-com at Haon's apartment. It's easier this way, because Byungjae can just walk out and never turn back. Forgetting the address might be a little harder, but that's what the 'delete' option is for. He wants it to all be over. The lies, the coverups, and the pressure on his chest.

He wanted to do it on aim, but he's not that big of a jerk, he just settles for a quick escape. Looking with a soft focus on the screen while his heart is pounding, he ends what he never should've started. "Haon."

"Hmm?" Haon hums back, still watching the movie.

"I think we should break up."

The room fills with molasses as Haon stiffens next to him. Byungjae doesn’t dare look at him. He knows it'll break him, it'll only make the guilt worse. Trudging forward, he no longer lies. "I'm sorry. This shouldn't have happened, I know you'll find someone better."

In the corner of his eye, Byungjae can see a tear drop. He can feel Haon caving in on himself, trembling, as he doesn’t even try to stop the tears. He really is the worst. 

"You'll find someone better," he repeats like a mantra, because really, anyone is better than him. He wants to say 'you'll find someone who isn't a liar,' but that comes with more questions than answers, so he bites his tongue. He's not a masochist, and Haon doesn't look like he'll appreciate it. 

Then, in a flurry of movements, Haon is hugging him. Gripping him so hard as he shakes and cries, hiding his face in the crook of Byungjae's neck. Like old times, Byungjae holds him, comforting him as the boy he loves is falling apart at the seams. He thinks of nothing and everything as his eyes start to water, and a self deprecating smile appears on his face. 

He doesn't cry though. Not because he doesn't want to, but because he already cried the nights prior. The pressure on his chest is still taut, and now he can feel his sweater dampening. It's really no fun anymore. 

After catching his ragged breath, Haon looks absolutely vulnerable as he stares into Byungjae's hidden eyes. Tear tracks and red-rimmed eyes decorating his face, Haon whimpers brokenly, "It's okay," with a strained smile.

At this, Byungjae turns ice cold. Of course, even when Haon has the right to be upset or hate him, he manages to take the blame on himself. 

"I knew it was coming," Haon mutters, taking a breath, "I just t-thought it was too good to be true, and then-" he's hiccupping, "then you started acting weird."

The guilt is eating him alive. His chest hurts so much, as if someone dropped coals on his worn-out heart. He can't say anything though, not when he'll spill everything and apologize at his feet and beg for forgiveness until his dying days. 

"I thought maybe it was a phase, since we love-loved each other we would get over it. I thought that we perfect together." Haon lets out a broken laugh at his own statement, before admitting, "I guess that's not the case."

Byungjae wants to cry out that he does love him. That they are perfect for each other, as possible in a relationship. That it's not a phase, but instead just a mountain of deceit that's been compiling since he first saw him in his colorful hoodie. Even now, there's wrappers of strawberry gum littered in the apartment. All he can do is console Haon, whispering a lullaby of "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," but his words are futile. 

They stay wrapped up together for the night, both not making the first move of leaving. Haon wanting closure, and Byungjae too scared that anything else he does will make it worse. They both silently acknowledge that this is their last night together, and only when Haon drifts off into sleep, is when Byungjae leaves.

Right before entering the dreamscape, Haon, under his breath, drawls out the sweetest, "I love you." As if this night never happened, and they're still madly in love with each other, whispering 'I love you' like it’s a well-kept secret. 

Involuntary, he kisses Haon's forehead, like so many other times, and repeats the sentiment. "I love you," and if Haon hears him, the only indication is small smile.

In the night, Byungjae will untangle himself out, cover Haon with the warmest blankets, and leave a note. Disappearing into the snowfall, never looking back.

In the morning, Haon will wake up alone. Like a dream, Byungjae is gone in a blur, and he'll have to mend his broken heart, wondering what went wrong.

_You'll find someone better.  
Sorry for all the lies.  
\- Byungjae_

-

_March_

Instead of snow, it now rains constantly. The once withering greenery is flourishing, growing on the walls of buildings and cracks on the sidewalk.

Spring is meant for new beginnings, right? Byungjae supposes he's a bit of a poet for breaking up in winter. The sight of blooming flowers makes him smile, only because he wants to gift Haon a fresh bouquet. He only really feels the pain in his chest when he has no distractions. Other than that, it's a mute, numb strain.

Sometimes when he's dreaming, Haon will appear like how water droplets appear on leaves. It feels too real and too perfect, but Byungjae can't help himself from immersing in it. If only his dreams were his reality. Unfortunately, this isn't the case, and every time he wakes up it's like clawing his way through molasses just to breath. 

Rohan is sitting across from him, much like that day on January 13th. The only real difference is that they're at a coffee shop, and he's single. They even get drinks, a strawberry drink and an americano sitting on the table. They talk about school and menial things, but Byungjae supposes one month is enough time to sulk, so now he has to check off his to-do list.

"I don't think I'm gonna be taking any more jobs." Byungjae just throws it out there. The atmosphere was comfortable, and luckily it stays that way. He's a fool for thinking Rohan would hold it against him.

Rohan doesn't narrow his eyes or bash him or do anything Byungjae expected. Instead, sipping on his coffee, he causally asks, "Any reason why?"

"Just busy." Byungjae says, as if Rohan doesn't know his entire schedule and classes. They're in the same program. He's literally graduating this spring with him. 

Rohan chuckles, "I kinda already saw it coming. I think the last one took quite a toll on you." He's had the emotional toll of a tsunami. 

"You could say that." 

Hand on his chin, Rohan suggests the unthinkable. "I think you should go for it." 

"Go for what?" Byungjae questions, and then it hits him. He wishes he was braver. "I broke up with him."

Rohan doesn't say anything for a few seconds, mouth slightly open in surprise, and then smiles gently. "So that's how it turned out? I guess it makes sense why you were acting like you did. Even now, you mope around a bit more."

Byungjae doesn't answer, and Rohan sighs. Gently, he asks, "So, did you love him?" 

The dreaded question. After a couple of seconds, Byungjae bites his lip, and nods. His throat slightly closes up as he mutters, "Yeah, I did."

He wishes the answer was no, but Rohan doesn’t deserve his lies. It's there again, that bittersweet taste spreading from his chest to his mouth. It’s nothing like the strawberry gum he can't seem to remember what it tastes like. Trying to keep a straight face, Rohan can probably see him caving in, struggling to remain neutral. It's all a façade anyways.

Rohan smiles all-knowing again and says, "That sucks, but you didn't actually have to break with him. Sure it's general protocol, but no one would really know except me."

Like clawing into a healing wound, Byungjae doesn't want to talk about his faults or the unfairness of the situation. He already knows he didn't have to break up with him, but it's better seeing Haon heartbroken than heartbroken and betrayed. He doesn't want to think about what could've been, no matter how impossible.

"I guess not, but it's better this way. Trust me. I'm okay." He's not sure he's lying or not.

Rohan just smiles back genially, his eyes catch the sunlight. "If you say so, lover boy." 

-

_April_

Finals upon assignments upon projects are all Byungjae allows himself to focus on. 

His self-hatred seems to be chipping away, little by little. The less time he thinks about Haon, the less he hates himself. The guilt is also fading away because he's finally getting away Haon. It's almost like he can splice out that part of his life, like it's a separate entity that won't have any bearings on the present.

He's okay. Rohan doesn't ever bring it up, and when he does Byungjae glares at him he might as well have lasers coming out of his eyes. He still might do a double-take every time he passes a MacDonald's, or sees a specific brand of gum, but it's okay. He's still living, but it truly is a small world.

It's one of the rare instances where Byungjae finds himself in a mall, shopping for formal attire for his graduation. By his side is Rohan, who also seems to be lacking in that department. Surrounded by sleek clothes made by child-laborers, the job hunt starts here. 

Before he can stop himself, Byungjae starts staring at a familiar stature at the other end of the store. The stranger's back is towards him as he sifts through punch-colored hoodies and it feels like the room drops sixty degrees. Frozen, all he can do is grip harder onto the white button-down he was previously looking at. It's no stranger, and the maze of clothing looks a lot more hazardous.

Rohan doesn't seem to notice his caution, whistling softly as he checks the price tag. Only once he puts the shirt back can he see the pure panic on Byungjae's face, and asks, "Um, you good?" 

It's like he's drowning in water. All the sounds are distorted and faraway, it's just him floating, trying to find a way to breathe. The pressure on his chest is back after months. A hand on his shoulder snaps him out of it, and he nearly rips the button-down. 

"Byungjae, are you okay?" Rohan asks again, confused, and then he follows his line of sight. "Is that…?"

"We need to leave. Now." Byungjae manages to blurt out. The shirt forgotten, he grabs Rohan's wrist and drags him out without turning too many heads. Shame coloring his face, all he can do is look at the shiny ground and try to remember to breathe.

Unknown to the duo, the boy by the punch-colored sweaters gets a glimpse. Shaking his head, he goes back to shopping.

-

_May_

Cherry blossoms are blooming on his graduation day. The blush petals swirl in the wind while he takes pictures with his family.

As expected, they're all dressed to the nines (he's wearing his nice sneakers), and albeit awkward, the pictures turn out nice. It's not like his parents can exactly brag about how their son graduated from a music program, but his sister is doing well so there's that. As strained and alone he's been since he left, his parents are somewhat supportive. It's a miracle that both his mother and father came, and of course his sister would come regardless.

Despite the few and varied phone calls he has with his family, a small part of him is glad they came. When he's dropping them off at the hotel late at night and his mother whispers, "You did good," he knows they're glad too.

That night he doesn't dream of Haon.

-

_June_

It's late, but the summer heat only eases slightly as the open window does nothing to relieve Haon of his lack of sleep. 

The city lights are blinking blearily into the dark background as the boy rubs his eyes for the nigth time. It's a scenic view of 'downtown' Vancouver, but with it comes noisy neighbors and lucrative businesses that are just skimming legal. Downtown and 'downtown' are two very different things if you're above the age of 10.

His window is half stripped of paint. His door creaks like a grandmothers back. The walls are paper thin, but it’s not a red light district. Special agents don’t just live here, Haon lives here. A newly graduated agent, who is miles away from home because he was lucky enough to be accepted into the FBI, and now a notable department. 

The reason he chose to live in a dump like this was due to his motivation of helping others, and 'spreading the color of the sky all over the world'. 

Call him a mamas boy, but he guiltily regrets leaving home. Only at times like this, when the city never sleeps, and his neighbors are getting it on for the seventh time this night. He can't blame them though, because his thoughts keep going back to him. First known as the blunt cashier, and now something to shove under the rug.

His old love life was wayward because he's only dated girls, but if he can spread the color of the sky, then he should be himself too. Haon laughs grimly at himself, 'look how that turned out' he thinks.

At first it was hard. The morning after the break up he didn't do anything, couldn't bring himself to move from the coach or eat. The next day, he managed to book off three days of work citing that he caught a nasty cold with his gritty, weak voice. Haon loved him, or rather still loves him. It's not like you can just decide to not love someone anymore. 

It still hurts when he thinks about it, though. It's his Achilles. 

What Haon doesn't understand is why Byungjae was distant. He can't chalk up a single instance where the dynamics changed, just that sometime during the winter break Byungjae was different. It sounds stupid now, but Haon really thought this was it. This was the love of his life. Even now, he doesn't know what Byungjae lied about. 'Sorry for all the lies'? He can't even begin to understand when the lies started.

What's weirder is the text he received two months ago. From an unknown number, all it said was 'If you want, you should talk to Byungjae'. It's not Byungjae's number (he remembered it by heart, the traitor) but the sad truth is that he does want to talk to him. He wants closure when he was too weak to ask for it. It's like a cruel sign from above, or a prank text on a drunken night.

Work has been the biggest distraction, and Haon's grateful for it. If he spends a few more extra hours on a case, his superiors only praise him for it. He used to have bouts of insomnia on particularly hard nights, though it's gotten better as the days pass by. Tonight, he doesn't seem to be as lucky.

It's okay though, because he doesn't cry himself to sleep at night anymore. His heart doesn't feel like it's gonna burst when he's reminded of Byungjae. No longer is it hard to eat just an apple or get out of bed on the weekends. Like buds awakening from their slumber, Haon is blooming ever so slightly in the sunlight. 

The humid breeze is making Haon sticky to the touch, and as the go-go girls are making their rounds, he drifts off. Below his shoddy apartment, a bang sounds, and the scatter of people whispers across the now silent street. 

Haon has always been a light sleeper. Work never seems to end.

-

_July_

Of course, it all comes full circle. 

It's another night shift at the gas station, like most days for Byungjae since his manager isn’t the most empathetic. He's currently ringing up a customer, bored out of his mind, but that's better than thinking of the past. Scanning Two bottles of Coca-Cola, and in a monotone voice, the cashier says. "That'll be $4.25." 

As Byungjae shifted his focus, he saw the glint of a gun in the customers hands. It's been awhile since there's been an incident like this, and the gloomy boy quietly speed dials 911 like muscle memory, and then warns, "Sir, I need you put down-"

"P-PUT YOUR HANDS UP! OPEN THE CASH REGISTER AND GIVE ME ALL THE MONEY!" The customer holds up a small piston and a flimsy bag, and Byungjae sighs. Why do thief's always buy two bottles of Coca-Cola? Why not one? Or a different drink? It's just another petty robber with no skills or class. The scene feels a bit too familiar for Byungjae's liking.

Like last August, the cashier was going to knock the gun out of the customers hand and trap him, and he does exactly that.

No one beats him to it, and in a matter of seconds he has the robber's wrist in a tight grip and knocks him out with an elbow to the head. It's just them in the store, the silence returning as the guy lays unconscious on the dirty tiled floor. Byungjae speed dials 911.

There's no boy in a colorful hoodie who comes to his aid, not that he needed it. He can sense the strawberry gum innocently sitting on the shelf, mocking him.

The moon shines beautifully as the police leave, the havoc leaving with them. Another night at the gas station, Byungjae thinks to himself, and lets sleep overcome him before he can think too deep about it.

_Ding dong!_

Barely stirring, Byungjae slowly wakes up, already used to the feeling of lack of sleep, and acting as if he wasn't napping on the job. Looking up, all he can say is that today's a terrible day.

It's ironic, but there Haon stands by the clear double door. A shy, small smile graces his face.

The fluorescent lights are still just as glaring on Haons soft features, but all Byungjae can do is stare in disbelief. Frozen like all those months ago, he vaguely notices that Haon is wearing a punch-colored sweater. It swallows him up, and soon his chest is stirring uncomfortably. It's like tiny fire's dancing in his ribcage. 

Haon starts walking towards the aisles in a leisure pace as if it was a sunny afternoon. Seemingly not bothered, he takes his sweet time looking at the packages and food labels. When the boy disappears in the back row by the drinks, Byungjae can finally breathe. 

Like a diver swimming up for air, Byungjae emerges from the surface exhausted. His hands have started shaking and his breathing is quick and shallow. The pressure on his chest is as strong as it was in February. Above all, his face burns from shame. The past was never supposed to catch up. 

A jug of chocolate milk, a box of cereal, five frozen pizzas (there was a sale), and two packs of strawberry gum are what Haon has in his shopping basket. It's all that stands between them, sitting innocently on the countertop. What did his past life do to deserve this?

The boy is so close that if Byungjae were to hold his hand up, he could cradle his tear-stained face. If he leaned forward, he could kiss him like long ago. He's sure his facial expression is one of pure longing. He doesn't even try to hide it. He wouldn't be able to, either way. 

"Can I pay for this?" Haon asks slowly, and he's smiling nervously, his eyes look so bright and full, but guarded. His hands are hidden in the pocket of his punch-colored hoodie. 

"Uh-yes! I mean-yeah. Yeah, you can pay for it," Byungjae mumbles the last part, heat creeping onto the tips of his ears. 

One by one he scans each item. He wants to run away in the barcode maze of black and white lines. Time seems to stretch on and on with the inconstant beeping being the only sound in the gas station. Packing the groceries now feels like his every wrong movement could set off a nuclear bomb.

"How would you like to pay today?" Strains Byungjae.

Haon already has his card out, "Credit, please."

Avoiding eye contact, Byungjae stares at everything besides Haon. The register lets out a satisfactory beep and the receipts printing out. His voice sounds like someone's holding a gun to his head. "Would you like the receipt in the bag?"

"Sure," Haon says, nodding. Byungjae does exactly that, but Haon doesn't take the filled plastic bag. It just sits there as Haon takes no initiative to leave. He's still standing in front of him, and Byungjae has no idea what game he's trying to play at. 

After a couple of seconds, Haon clears his throat and looks sheepish. Byungjae only knows this because he can only hold out for so long, finally locking eyes. 

Cautiously, Haon starts explaining, "I know we broke up," his voice cracks, "but a couple of months ago I got a weird text from an unknown number."

'Rohan!', Byungjae accuses in his head. The traitor must've done it sometime in March. These are the results, or rather consequences, when he doesn't lie.

"It said something about how I should talk to you. It even said your name, which I thought was crazy, but I didn’t respond until June. The stranger told me that I deserved the 'truth'. Now that I'm thinking about it though, it could've been you that texted me, but I have a feeling it isn't."

"It wasn't me," Byungjae croaks out. Now he's the nervous one.

Haon smiles back in response, "I know, and the thing is, I never understood why you wrote, _'Sorry for the lies'_. I can't think of a single instance when you lied, or how bad it must be for you to apologize. The only reasonable conclusion I came up with was the _'I love you's'_ must've been fake."

Haon has a brave face on, and it would be so easy to say 'yes, you’re right, I never loved you', and end the conversation, but this all started because Byungjae decided to stop lying. No one deserves his twisted words because he's a coward, least of all Haon. 

A beat passes before Byungjae admits, "The _'I love you's'_ were _true._ "

He waits for Haon's reaction, but his face remains neutral, maybe deflating a little. Guarded yet still curious, he keeps interrogating, "So what is the whole truth?"

The job's over, and he has nothing to lose except his dignity, but that's nothing new. It's almost like nothing matters because it can't get worse than this. Besides, didn't Rohan say to go for it? He might as well finish what he unknowingly started.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Byungjae begins, "Sometimes, I used to kinda do, um, side jobs. For my friend, Rohan." 

Haon waits attentively as Byungjae tries to string together the right words. "Rohan works for, well, he works for the uh, mafia," he mutters the last word, but he can see the gears in Haon's head turning. 

"Rohan works for the mafia, the same mafia that were caught for the MacDonald's Monopoly scheme." Finishes Haon, a look of awe and disgust. Narrowing his eyes, he accuses, "That means you worked for the mafia. You were complacent in the act of fraud, actually you actively helped them."

"Um, technically yeah, but I don't work for them anymore! I was a throwaway _tool_ , a-a dirt rag for them because I, I was low in cash. I just-" Byungjae trails off, biting his tongue when he can't think of what to say to console Haon. There's no fast lane to right your wrongs, is there?

Then, in a weak voice, Haon keeps prodding. "So that means your job was…to date me?"

Guilty as charged. Byungjae's silence is enough of an answer. He doesn't dare look Haon in the eyes, the shame won't allow him. What a terrible thing to do, playing with innocent hearts only to crush them on schedule.

"You dated me to get information on the FBI. On the investigation. You probably wired my phone." Haon guesses, but his hands are trembling. No one said the truth was pretty. "The first time we meet, was that staged?" 

Byungjae scoffs lamely, then answers, "No, it wasn't. That was actually before I got the, um, the job. The first time was pure chance." 

Haon doesn't respond, so now they're saturated in an overwhelming quietness. With only the rumbling AC and the occasional cars driving by, one would assume there's nothing but ghosts in here. Once Haons caught up with his racing thoughts, he breaks the silence.

"If all of this is true, why did we end up catching the mafia?" 

Never one to miss out on a single detail, Haon is indeed an exceptional agent. Byungjae grins masochistically, "Short answer, the mafia are stupid. Long answer, I actually lied to Rohan about when the takedown was supposed to happen."

Haon's eyes widen, but Byungjae just keeps going. 

"It turns out though, it didn't even matter. Rohan is the only one who knows I lied, so I don't have to fear for my life. The thing is though, that even if I told him the correct date, you would've still caught them." 

That's the sad truth, that even when Byungjae thought he had a chance to rebel, it didn't matter in the end. The results would be the same regardless if he lied or not. The only substantial difference is that he was willing to lie to the Mafia for Haon's happiness. Not like it matters anymore. 

"Rohan didn't actually need the date of the takedown, despite him telling me to find out, so really, the mafia are quite stupid." Finally, the pressure leaves his chest. He's so light he could fly past the serene clouds. Haon will leave him this time, rightly so, but it's okay, he's content. He'll be let down slowly.

Byungjae can't help it when the corners of his mouth turn upward, he did the unthinkable. Now Haon holds all the power in his gentle hands. "That's the whole truth. You can chose to believe me or not."

Haon stares back but doesn't answer him. "You said the 'I love you's' were true. You fell in love with me while on the job, didn't you?" 

Smiling crestfallen, Byungjae nods haphazardly. Haon seems to be just as amused as he laughs at the situation. Soon child-like laughter fills the gas station, like they just heard a bad joke. A tear slips past the corner of Haon's eye, and without thinking, Byungjae's hand is already there, wiping his cheek dry. 

Haon doesn't flinch or move away, but when the realization hits, Byungjae pulls his hand back so fast as if he touched lightning. Leaning forward, Haon almost looks like he wants to whine at the action.

Studying each other, Haon seems to come to his own realization as his eyes twinkle in the dim lighting. Quietly, he admits in a shaky voice, "I haven't forgiven you, and I think I'll need a week to digest whatever you just said, but…" 

Haon grins faintly. Never one to disappoint, he asks before he can regret it, "…Can I see you again?"

It's silent for a beat, the words ringing in Byungjae's head. Haon, the person he lied to countless times, wants to see him again? In disbelief, he begs out, "Why?" 

"I wired your phone. I went on a date with you because I was getting paid. I became your boyfriend because I was getting paid! I-I even took your virginity! I lied about everything!" Warns Byungjae, because how could someone as good as Haon even want to be associated him? He won't allow himself to grasp onto the idea of false hope, that this could be something like before. Haon doesn't deserve it.

Blinking twice at his own outrage, he whispers brokenly, "Why-why are you still here? I'm…the _worst._ " 

Mouth in a tight line, Haon suddenly seems much wiser than the innocent boy he first met. His undereye bags have never seemed to be as bad, and the lines on his face are more defined, as if hasn't been eating. Still, he radiates the nostalgia that there is good in the world. 

Sighing, Haon says, "I don't know how to explain it, but I know for a fact that there are worse people than you, like the pedophiles that work for Nickelodeon, or a certain president. But Byungjae, the bad things you’ve done don't have to define you, really."

As if poverty doesn't exist anymore and the kids in Africa are no longer starving, Haon gives him the kindest smile. "Sure, you're not a saint by any means, but you don't actually hate the world…and the world doesn't hate you."

Hanging his head, Byungjae can’t bring himself to believe that. How can the world not hate him? It's as if everything that could go wrong has, but even he has to admit he could be dead right now. Is it worse now that he has to face his consequences? The one standing right in front of him? Pinned down as if he's a bug encased in glass, Haon's voice the reason.

"I mean, I don't hate you, and I know there's lots of reasons I should, as you gladly outlined, but I don't. I really don't. I'm not saying that we'll ever be like we were-like what we used to be, but," his voice hitches, "I _really_ just want another chance."

From the long nights to his patched up heart, it's pretty obvious that Byungjae wants one too.

"Yeah, I-uh, I would really like that." Byungjae whispers, tears gently falling down his face. The world is truly being too kind to him. 

It's foreign and feels undeserving, but when he sees Haon's smiling ear to ear, he can't help but relish in it. Tears of joy, they say, and he would call them tears of gratefulness instead. He'll beg on his knees for forgiveness until death if this is what he gets to experience.

That night, the moon casts beams of white light as Haon leaves, his heart leaving with him. Another night at the gas station, Byungjae thinks to himself, but he doesn't fall asleep the rest of his shift. Chewing on some of the nostalgic strawberry gum, even the sweet scent enveloping him can't bring him to sleep. If this is a dream, he wants it to last forever.

Only when he's back at the dorm and gets a new message from a familiar number, does he go to sleep. In his tiny cote, between the low-thread count sheets and dirty clothes, he dreams of a world that doesn't hate him. 

When he wakes up, the familiar number is still there.

**Author's Note:**

> The MacDonald's Monopoly scam is a real thing!! I watched the documentary 'McMillions', but I obviously changed up certain things, like how it takes place in Canada instead of America, etc. 
> 
> I'm surprised if anyone even reads this because Haon/Byungjae is sooooo long ago, but I'm finally done!! Lol took me two years but I did it.
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! I really hope you liked the story and comments are very much appreciated!


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